Tesco’s Prank Call

We called Tesco’s about a jar of jam that turned out to be Fromage Frei. It seemed to have affected more than his picnic!

Winston Churchill – Legend!

 

I never realised how much of a legend Winston Churchill was but reading this just confirmed it. This is qwick wit at it’s best!

During a party, a dissaprover of Winston Churchill spat at him, “If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!” Winston Churchill, without missing a beat, replied, “Ma’am, if I were your husband, I would drink it.”

ALSO (from wikipedia):

In a November 2002 BBC poll of the “100 Greatest Britons“, he was proclaimed “The Greatest of Them All” based on approximately a million votes from BBC viewers

English

Women’s English

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

We Need = I Want

I Am Sorry = You’ll Be Sorry

We Need to Talk = You’re in trouble

Sure, go ahead = You better not

Do what you want = You will pay for this later

I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

You’re very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Men’s English

I am hungry = I am hungry

I am sleepy = I am sleepy

I am tired = I am tired

Nice dress = Nice cleveage!

I love you = Let’s have sex now.

May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you

Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you.

Those shoes don’t go with that outfit! = I’m gay.

More Proxy URL’s!

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NEW! Video Podcasts!

Shakira feat Beyonce – How the F**K is this Number 1!

What a shit song! It beat “Brainstorm” by the Arctic Monkey’s to the number one spot. Shakira is an absolute joke of a singer (if you can call her that) and Beyonce makes pretty crap songs too. Arctic Monkeys should have been number one hands down!

You judge for yourself which is the better song!

Shakira feat Beyonce – Beautiful Liar

Arctic Monkeys - Brainstorm

Welcome To My Lovely Blog

Hello

Welcome to my blog. This is basically a journal of things that I do and find and a way I can express my opinions in a lovely manner. I’m still getting used to this editor and the site so please bare with me while I learn how to work this bastard. Thanks and feel free to comment on any of my entries.

Kind Regards                                                                                                                                                                                               Chris Williams